Hello and welcome back to another '12 months of Montessori' blog post. This is April in the series. Read January, February and March here!
When you first find out that you are expecting, some of those thoughts over that long nine months are often focused around how you want to parent and raise your child. Perhaps you already knew about Montessori? Perhaps you discovered it during pregnancy? It may even be that you found out about Montessori now that your child is three...! And there's often the question 'Is it too late to start?', 'Can I still do Montessori at Home even if I don't have ... or if I don't want to use ....?'
The answer is YES! Montessori does not have to be all or nothing. You don't have to do everything the 'Montessori way', nor do you have to start from birth. Here at The Know & Play Space, we definitely incorporate a lot of Montessori into our parenting, home environment and raising of our son, Isaac. However, there are things that we do that are definitely not Montessori. And we didn't start truly from birth!
(Want to read more about our journey into Montessori? Click here!)
Seen that Montessori suggests using glass open cups? You don't have to.
Heard that Montessori says no screen time? That's up to you.
Worried that Montessori believes that children under 6 shouldn't be exposed to fantasy? You choose what's right for your child.
Now, there are reasons behind all of the suggestions that Maria Montessori suggests in her 'method', and if you want to know about some easy switches to more Montessori friendly things/ways of doing things at home, then check out this blog post HERE. However, to be a Montessori parent, the most important thing is actually not a thing at all. It's believing in, trusting in and respecting your child. It's viewing them as capable, with the ability to be independent, and allowing them to develop at their own pace, in their own way.
I thought today it might be helpful to share 7 things that we do/did at home that aren't typically 'Montessori'!
We don't always use an open cup. Up until 18 months, most of the cups that we have used with Isaac have been lidded with a spout or are a 360 drinking one. Most of the time now at 20 months we do use an open cup, unless we're out and about.
We do have screen time, although it is limited. There isn't a set time per day - sometimes it'll be 0 screen time, some days more!
We have introduced fantasy books. Isaac's absolute favourite books are by Julia Donaldson - Gruffalo, Stickman, Superworm... none of which are realistic! However, since learning and reading about why we should stick to books about real life with real images in, I totally get it and have removed some of our fantasy books. I haven't taken away his favourites as part of Montessori is following the child and their interests!
Isaac doesn't help with choosing his own clothes. This isn't because I haven't tried... I have! But Isaac has absolutely no interest in this and we don't have time in the mornings to encourage him to take part. So for now, we choose his clothes each day and just invite him to help us in the actual physical process of getting dressed.
We haven't always had a weaning table - purely because of space! A weaning table (a small, toddler sized table) isn't a necessity at all, however, there are lots of benefits to it. We didn't have space in our old house, so until around 15 months, we didn't use a weaning table with Isaac.
Isaac didn't transfer into a floor bed from a cot until 12 months. We would definitely do a floor bed earlier if we ever have another child... but we were still able to do a lot of things in a Montessori-inspired way, despite not having a floor bed from infancy.
We didn't allow for Isaac to have much floor time as a younger baby - not because we didn't want to, but because he seemed happiest up in our arms most of the time. We also used to hold him up to stand/sit even before he could do this independently. We didn't know otherwise, and Isaac's still turned out fine. Next time however we would definitely encourage more time on the floor, as we're certain Isaac missed out on the opportunity for transitional positions in his gross motor development which would've helped him be less frustrated when he did want to start moving for himself.
We still see ourselves as parents who take an approach to parenting that's inspired by Montessori, with our approach to Isaac's development and learning constructed through multiple different methods, not just Montessori. It's so important to do what's right for your family, for your child, and in that moment. Sometimes you'll have the capacity to be more 'Montessori' and let your child help you with the hoovering... other days, you'll just want to whip round yourself without them being involved! It's all about balance. It's all about it being manageable.
Montessori doesn't have to be all or nothing, and neither does any other Developmental Approach.
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