Montessori is a commitment. It's a commitment to parenting in a respectful, child-led way. However... how do you commit to an approach at home, no matter how much you believe in it, if you're working? Especially if you're working full time!
Having done the first half term in my new job, I've been reflecting a lot upon the months I feel I 'lost' with Isaac, given I went back to work full time after maternity leave. It wasn't a choice I wanted, yet was a choice I had to make, and it came with the sacrifice of him having to be in nursery full time.
I wanted to be a mum who parented with Montessori values at her core. I wanted to be present, following my child, offering him resources and opportunities to meet his developmental needs and follow his interests, prepare his environment and involve him in daily life happenings... yet... I was at work? So how could I do this?
Knowing that Montessori was important to our family, we put Isaac in a Montessori nursery - hoping that he therefore would have access to quality resources and toys, with the adults trained in following an approach similar to the one we would've ideally liked to do ourselves at home. This wouldn't be a necessity. To do Montessori at Home you needn't have to have your child in Montessori childcare as well. It just worked for us, felt right, and we were lucky to have nurseries near by!
J (Isaac's dad) & I then had the conversation of what aspects COULD we still apply to the time we DID have with Isaac.
Here's some of the ideas we came up with:
Show respect towards Isaac in all that we did with him - using gentle language and hands at all times
Trust in Isaac that he is developing in the way that is best for himself - his own way, his own pace
Giving Isaac freedom within limits and the opportunities to make his own choices when appropriate eg. choosing pyjamas / which top to wear to nursery
Offer opportunities to be involved in practical life tasks in the evenings (such as preparing dinner), or at the weekends
Prepare Isaac's environments so that they suited his needs and interests for when he was at home, and display toys and resources in a Montessori-inspired way on open shelving
Value our own work - knowing that our careers were to supporting Isaac in other ways at that time
Share our parenting approach wishes with family members so that they can support our journey with Isaac when we see them at the weekends
Montessori is so much more than just the beautiful shelves you see on Instagram. It's an approach deeply rooted in respect, trust and understanding - concepts you can show every day whether you're a stay at home parent, or a full time working parent. It's all about finding what works for you and your family. It's about finding how to balance all of the plates you're wanting to spin, whilst also ensuring that your mental health and wellbeing is being looked after too.
Admittedly, having moved schools and now in a part time role, I am finding it easier to be more of the Montessori-inspired parent that I want to be because I have more energy, more headspace and more time to dedicate to it... but that doesn't mean that our Montessori at Home was any less worthwhile in the months before. It was just different. Life shifts and changes just like the Seasons do.
Is this something you can resonate to? Have you been feeling like the work/childcare/parenting balance has been hard to manage?
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