How to observe your child the Montessori way

We all watch our children play, but when you watch, do you observe? More importantly, do you observe objectively?

What is observation?

When you are observing your child play, see them through fresh eyes. Remove any preconceived thoughts, any preconceptions, any judgement. See your child as they are, for who they are, and notice exactly what they are doing in those moments you're watching.

When we observe, it's really important that we try and stay objective. For example: I might see Isaac repeat the same task over and over again, 5 times - perhaps a puzzle. Subjectively, I might think 'Oh, Isaac must love doing that puzzle.' Objectively, the observation would be 'Isaac repeated the puzzle 5 times.' He might not enjoy doing the puzzle!! But what he is doing, is working on something or some skill that is important to him. He is in control of his development. He knows what he needs to do and needs to work on.

Why should I observe?

1. It can help you to get to know your child better as an individual - who they are, rather than who we want them to be.

2. You can notice changes in their development as your child learns, improves and eventually masters tasks.

3. Your child can show you what they want to learn and develop, and then you can prepare the environment to support that.

What can I observe?

Observation can happen at any time of day, doing any task or during any period of play.

Here are some examples below of questions to ask yourself when observing:

Sleep

• How quickly does your child fall asleep?

• Do they have any patterns with their sleep?

• What position do they sleep in?

• How often/when do they sleep well/poorly?

• How do they cope with waking?

Eating/Feeding

• Which foods can they feed themselves?

• What position are they holding utensils in?

• How do they show they are finished/ full up?

Fine Motor

• What grasp are they using and for which objects?

• Which hand do they predominantly use?

Gross Motor

• Can they transition from sit to stand, stand to sit etc.?

• How is their balance?

• What gross motor skills are they currently working on?

• How does the environment affect their gross motor skill development?

Language & Communication - Social Skills

• How are they predominantly communicating?

• What sounds or words do they use?

• Can they express themselves and be understood?

• How do they interact with different people?

• What body language do they show?

• Do they make eye contact?

• Do they watch and observe others?

• Can they ask for help when they need it?

Emotional Skills

• When do they smile or laugh? When do they cry?

• How do they self-sooth or do they need support to get comfort?

• How do they like to be comforted?

• How do they respond to people they don't know?

• How do they handle separation?

• How do they react in different scenarios?

• How do they manage when things don't work out how they want?

Cognitive Development

• What are their interests currently?

• What activities can they complete with ease?

• What activities do they find more challenging? Do they show frustration towards challenge or perseverance?

• How long will they stick with a certain task/ do an activity?

We can also observe ourselves in situations with our child:

Observation of Self

• How do I show my child I love and value them?

• How do I respond if my child doesn't do what I've asked them to?

• How do I respond when my child succeeds/fails?

• How do I respond to my child when they don't eat/sleep?

• How do I respond and act upon the observations I've made of my child?

So, what do you do with the information you've gathered on your child through observation? I'll write all about this in my upcoming blog post - Observation - Part 2. Be sure to subscribe so you don't miss it!