It's all over Instagram isn't it - the 'let your child engage in risky play' and Jordan Peterson's trending audio about letting our children 'do dangerous things carefully'. As a parent, it can seem quite shocking! Why would we want our children exposed to risks, to things that could hurt them, to do 'dangerous' things? Isn't our role to keep them safe? Yes! We need to keep our children safe... but as Early Years Expert Alistair Bryce-Clegg says 'Not letting our child take risks is a risk itself!'.
What Alistair means is, it's crucial for children to take risks, and it's our role as the adult to allow them to have this freedom, within limits. Children are innately drawn to take risks. It allows for them to move and challenge their bodies in new and different ways. We celebrate the gross motor milestones that our babies make - rolling over, crawling, cruising and walking... when really, if we look back and think... our baby was taking risks at those moments of practise! It just looks a little more scary and a whole lot more dangerous for our toddlers and older children when they push their motor development!
So, what is Risky Play?
Risky play is play that is thrilling and exciting. It's play that's challenging, play that allows children to test thrown limits, and it's also play that helps them to establish boundaries.
There are two types of Risky Play - Physical Risk & Emotional Risk.
Emotional risk is, for example, when a child goes off by them self in an unknown or unfamiliar environment. They're leaving the safety of their adult to explore by themselves. Whereas physical risk is exactly as is says, it poses a risk to the child's body coming to harm - for example, the use of equipment or tools, or pushing their physical boundaries through jumping off of high objects or climbing up high in a tree!
Sounds scary right? Makes us as the adult feel anxious! BUT... Risky play has SO many benefits and its all about finding a balance of how to allow your child to experience it in a controlled way.
What are the benefits of Risky Play?
☑︎ Risky play is fun! Children get enjoyment from it, especially those who haven't yet quite developed a sense of fear yet!
☑︎ Exhilaration from risky play can provide children with hormone releases that make them feel good
☑︎ Encourages the skills of decision making and making sensible judgements
☑︎ Helps boost children's confidence, growth mindset and self-reliance
☑︎ Helps children to learn what safety looks like and how to manage limits & boundaries
As I said though, it's all about balance!
We don't want our children getting badly hurt. So how can we manage this whilst still allowing for some risky play?
- Consider their developmental stage/ age. Is what they're trying to do or doing developmentally appropriate?
A 6 year old jumping off a platform is different to your toddler doing the same.
- Consider whether there are times in your daily routine or rhythm that you can 'plan in' some time for risky play. Can you go to a park where you know there is a fantastic tree to climb? This will allow there to be a designated time for your child to take risks, meaning they may not then need to seek opportunities to fuel this need elsewhere?
- Consider what freedom you're going to allow, but also the limits you're going to set alongside those. "Yes, you may climb the tree. However, do you see that knot in the tree there? You aren't going to climb higher than that."
- Consider your child's personality. Are they someone who seems to be taking a lot of risks? Perhaps there is a need here that needs to be met in another way. Are they someone who is afraid to take any risks? Perhaps there are tiny things you could encourage them to have a go at in order to allow them to take 'safe' risks first.
- Consider the nature of the risk. Are they tasking the risk in a safe, supervised environment? How dangerous is it really?
- Consider your level of patience and supervision. Do you have enough capacity today to do the hand on hand method with your toddler today so that they can help you cut vegetables with a sharp knife? Or would it be better at a different time?
3 tips for managing Risky Play
Focus on the positives - Yes it can be daunting and even a little scary for us as adult as we're desperate to ensure our children stay safe. However, there are lots of skills learnt from climbing a tree and having to work out how to get down!
Watch what you say - "Be careful." "You're going to fall!" "You can't use that because you're too little." ... think about how you could change your language to support Risky Play calmly and safely. "I wonder where you could place your foot to give you more support?" "I can see you're getting ready to jump. Don't forget to bend your knees when you land to keep your body safe." "You're wanting to help. Sure. But the rule is that I need to keep my hand over yours whilst we practise. Can you do it with me?"
Don't jump in - WAIT! Let them solve the problem by themselves. Let them find a solution and work it out independently as much as possible. This is SO important for their future brain development. If they get really stuck, remember the phrase 'offer as little help as needed' - meaning, don't just jump in and do it all completely for them. Help them through the problem solving through guidance and questioning (unless you need to jump in for safety reasons of course!!).
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